Can you tell us about your journey to parenthood? How old were you when you decided to become a mother and how long did it take for you to get pregnant?
I "actually" didn't want children, but by the end of my 30s, my husband's desire grew, so we tried to conceive "very casually". I was about 38 at the time and thought, either it works or it doesn't.
Did you face any particular challenges or concerns due to your age?
I didn't think about my age at all. There are so many different reasons for late parenthood. I haven't experienced miscarriages or fertility treatments. I was almost 40 all of a sudden and got lucky. I guess you could say, lucky. Because now I know how many (sad, desperate) couples there are who just can't seem to make it work for years.
Were there moments when you lost hope of getting pregnant? If so, how did you deal with it?
During the first pregnancy, I was more preoccupied with fears of possible changes to everyday life/work. When I didn't get pregnant for a year, the disappointment grew, and I tried to come to terms with it. Suddenly, the surprise: I got pregnant for the first time at 39.5 years old.
Before the second child, I had a strong desire for a child and was also very desperate and sad. After over a year, I tried to let go of this desire, and half a year later, I was able to test positive again.
How did you deal with the pressure that may have come from society or your social circle, especially because of your age? I didn't really feel pressure in that sense. Of course, there were questions from my parents because they would have liked to become grandparents, and I felt very sorry for them. But almost all of my friends were childless. With increasing age, I might have put a little pressure on myself.
You ultimately became pregnant. Today, you are a mother of two children, how did you experience your pregnancies?
Absolutely wonderful. During the first pregnancy, I had a lot of heartburn and back pain, but otherwise, everything went well. But I was also physically very fit beforehand.
My first son was born shortly after my 40th birthday. My second pregnancy also went very well; my second son was born shortly after my 44th birthday, spontaneously as a VBAC and within 5 hours. This pregnancy also occurred spontaneously.
However, my desire for children was much stronger here, and accordingly, so was the monthly hope and disappointment.
How has your life changed as a mother over 40?
I never would have dreamed how wonderful it is to see children grow up and how overwhelming the love for a child is. I also never thought I could be such a devoted mom. I love being a mother immensely and am endlessly grateful for these 2 little, healthy miracles.
Of course, all priorities are realigned, and the entire daily and life routine changes. But life means change, and that's a good thing!
What advice would you give to other women in similar life situations who are considering getting pregnant in their 40s?
Don't waste time! Before the first child, we didn't expect that we would have liked more than one child. We are infinitely grateful for our children, but we would have actually liked to have a third child. Unfortunately, this was not meant to be, as my age ultimately thwarted me.
So, don't waste time and put your energy into being courageous instead of being fearfu! Learn more about late motherhood here: https://www.mamaleben.de/spaete-mutterschaft/
